Prop H8 - Separation of church and state?

The #1 contributor to California's Proposition 8 to ban gay marriage, by far, was the Knights of Columbus - part of the Catholic Church - who spent over $1.4 million to help it pass. Another was the Mormon Church, who spent big bucks on TV to campaign for it. Separation of church and state, bull-oney! (Here's the list of contributors so you can see the rest of the bigots and how much they chipped in.)

Apparently from the Catholic Church's perspective, it's not okay for us to be gay or want to get married in loving adult relationships, but it's a-okay for their priests to molest children... they'll even bend over backwards to cover for them and expose them to new victims. And it's so urgent to deny gays their rights, that $1.4 million is only the latest in $millions more used for the same purpose. Gee, wonder how many poor people they could have helped instead. Boy that pisses me right off. I was raised Roman Catholic, but I have lost so much respect for the Catholic Church over the years that I could never be Catholic again, ever.

Another issue that came up during this vote, according to various pundits, is that having a minority candidate gave new hope to the minorities, brought out the minority vote, and since minorities tend to be socially conservative it ironically helped push Prop H8 through while helping Obama win. I honestly don't know why people who ought to know something about struggling against discrimination and fighting for civil rights are often the worst hypocrites when it comes to someone else's civil rights. They say, "that's different." But I want to know how it's different to deny marriage to people of two different races because some people believe they shouldn't be allowed to, versus denying marriage to people of the same gender because some people believe they shouldn't be allowed to. Who is it hurting? And whose business is it anyway? More on this in a minute.

Now before you get up in arms thinking I'm stereotyping minorities, you should know some background. My life partner and I are what they call here in Canada "visible minorities" of mixed race. My best friend is also of mixed descent. And having lived in the greater Los Angeles area for much of my life, in all of its amazing diversity, I've always had friends of varying colours, religions and backgrounds. So when I speak of prevailing attitudes within minority groups, as I have in the previous paragraph, it is not because I've bought into stereotypes, but rather because I've known so many of them personally and rubbed elbows with them every day, including my own family members, that I know from experience what the prevailing attitudes are in many groups. And as much as I hate to admit it, in this case the pundits are right about the minority vote. In general, our cultures just aren't that tolerant of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. I only wish I was wrong.

Case in point: Until a U.S. Supreme Court decision in June 1967, inter-racial marriages were still illegal in 16 states. My parents were married (in Canada) only a year after that. My mother, as a visible minority and having been foreign trained, found herself continually unable to find work commensurate with her education and experience, despite having attained Canadian citizenship and putting forth the effort for several years before finally leaving for the States (sad, isn't it?). And yet, in no small part owing to the culture she comes from, she's one of the worst anti-gay bigots I know. Sadly, she, like so many others I've known, knows what it's like to be treated like a second-class citizen for no good reason... but can't make the stretch for other people's civil rights.

Here's another sad example. A disproportionate number of the coming-out horror stories you hear - you know, where their family, upon finding out they were gay, kicked them out and they were homeless and had to sleep in their car; or maybe the father beat them up first, then kicked them out; things like that - are from minorities... African, Mexican, Asian, Native, Middle Eastern, etc. in descent. "White" families (European roots) might refuse to ever talk to you again, but for some reason we minorities seem to have a greater propensity for outright abuse in these situations. I don't know yet if this holds true in Canada too, but in the States it really doesn't take much to bear this out.

Perhaps I have been long-winded on this point, but I felt it was important to establish why I agree with the pundits on something that, at first blush, sounds like someone is trying to make a scapegoat of the non-whites and blame them for Prop 8's passing... exchanging homophobia in favour of racism... but that is most assuredly not the case.

Now in order to even entertain the idea of voting on such a proposition, one has to ignore for a moment the fact that marriage is a civil rights issue and therefore according to the federal Constitution should never have been put up for a vote in the first place. That's right, lawyers will be challenging the validity of Prop 8 based on the premises of the very document it seeks to modify. (Anyone else see the irony in this?) I understand the formidable Gloria Allred was the first to file a lawsuit. I would not want to piss her off. The one consolation I take in all this is that the ensuing fight will be interesting to say the least. But we'll see if justice is actually served.

Now there are thousands of same-sex couples legally married in CA, now left wondering what their status is and waiting to see if their marriages will be dissolved against their will. And others who didn't manage to get married before the deadline, with their weddings already half-planned and their dream suddenly crushed. I hope at least some of the homophobes will look at this situation and finally realize just how ugly and mean-spirited this thing is.

Under U.S. law, Britney Spears can go get married and then get it annulled after 55 hours "just for fun," and it's all legal and binding. But my partner and I have been together for nearly 13 years now and it was only a few years ago that she was finally granted the right to visit me in the hospital. Mind you, if we'd been living in almost any state other than California, she *still* wouldn't have that right today. What kind of person looks at that and thinks, yeah, that sounds right? A lot more Americans than you'd think. Just one more of many reasons to be thankful we live in Canada.